I recently heard these questions in an email and have also been asked that in person. The updates have not stopped, they were simply too much for me to do while I was sick. Matt has been pretty faithful to write especially for a guy that has been a busy as he has. My apologies. I became ill in late January with laryngitis and chest congestion/coughing that lasted until almost Easter
My laryngitis came on suddenly at the conference I wrote about in January and I felt fine (without a voice) until the following week. Then a number of symptoms developed at once and a roller coaster effect began. I would get better for a couple of days and then land right back where I was previously – silent except for the coughing fits and fatigue. I thought Matt would enjoy the silence and having me home. He did actually, for about 2 days! Then he tired of all conversation being written out or just pantomimed. Needless to say, conversation was limited. We had a lot of decisions to make and things to talk through so it was frustrating at times. I had very little energy for anything that I didn’t have to do. I spent time reading while in doctors offices or just being by myself as Matt was studying until all hours every night and weekends. This has been a defining time in my life as I look ahead to what I still need to accomplish in my life and evaluate where I am in relationship to that. My God is a loving and wise Father. He will use everything to my good if I allow Him to and I chose to allow Him in this time. I know this block of time was a reflective moment that He is using to refocus, refine me.
I am reminded of a story Stephanie Grace Whitson tells in her new book, A Hilltop In Tuscany. One of the characters relates how Michelangelo sculped the statue of David. He started with a very large piece of marble that no one (including Michelangelo) thought would be “worthy” of being sculpted. It had a large crack in it and had lay dormant and unused in his studio for a long time. When he finally sculpted David, he was asked, “How did you take that large marble piece and create something so beautiful?” His reply, “It was simple, I just knocked off the parts that didn’t look like David”. I believe that is what God did to me over these many months; He knocked off what didn’t resemble Jesus. I am not a perfectly completed work like ‘the David’ but I am headed toward the plan and purpose God is sculpting out of the cracked, marble slab that is my life. This time alone has not been wasted but fruitful.
I am now a better listener. I have learned about setting boundaries. God has softened me with His love and kindness so that I am more gracious to others, cognizant of their needs and frailties, more realistic about my own. There was quite a bit in my life that needed to be broken away. I am so grateful for the experience!
Matt is through with school for the semester and only has one more year to go! That is a relief just to type that sentence. He has taken 2 semesters off this past year to spend time with Josh and Kristina. Kristina moved back to Colorado in January and needed time with us. Josh has been here almost a year now and we have had some great times together. Josh is healthier than he has been in almost 4 years! He rebuilt the suspension on his truck which I believe Matt wrote about earlier. THAT was a huge project and Matt left his studies occasionally to go out to the garage and work next to his son. The timing for Matt’s Masters degree has been rearranged a bit in all of this but well worth the cost!
